Our Long Boat adventure…

So our itinerary was as follows:

Day 1 Bus all day with various stops. Change bus in Chang Mai then head to the border with Laos (Chiang Khong) accommodation and food provided.

Day 2 Boat all day stop at Pak Being find own accommodation

Day 3 Boat all day Arrive at Luang Prabang

Day 1 – It all started well with everyone in good spirits after a good night last night the bus was long there is no other way to describe it it took ages stopped a lot and the driver was so dangerous. Its not so much that they appear to go fast out here they just seem to drive dangerously like overtaking round blind corners without even looking. We made it to Chang Mai and changed driver, our new driver was very comical, he told us 1.5 hours then we eat and made an eating motion and weird noise then we go again. The food was nice i had a dry pork thing and Joe had pad thai then we headed back in the bus. Joe had given me strict instructions that this was a no talking bus. I think I was doing his head in but oh well. the driver had also developed an annoying habit with his foot on the accelerator like taking it on and off intermittently leading in not a very smooth ride. He also seemed to be flashing the lights every few minutes which was annoying if nothing else. We arrived at our accommodation it was clean with a fan room and I couldn’t complain! Not sure it was quite what Charlotte was used to but we all manned up and tried to get some rest. Chatting outside the room to Charlotte, much to our horror, the bus driver walked past with a very small towel covering only his private parts! How we laughed.

Day 2 – The whole immigration this was confusing but we all made it through into laos and then another bus. We seriously stocked up on beer and hit it hard once we were finally on the boat. Most people on the boat seemed really nice and we had such a laugh. Drinking we put some tunes on and chilled in the back of the boat. once we got off at Laos it was another culture shock. The children were climbing all over each other trying to fight for Charlottes Pringles and I gave them some crackers as well. Joe was so drunk and being proper arsey really getting on my last nerve. I was trying to explain to him why when I just lost it and burst into tears. We left him with all the bags and found somewhere to stay. Men seriously. We checked into the room and he went straight to the bar across the road without even an attempted apology. I sat with Charlotte for a bit then I decided if you can’t beat them join them and went to get pissed plus I knew Joe would run out of money and come creeping back eventually. We went to the happy bar and played some drinking games and chilled. I don’t remember what happened next but I have to warn the grandparents if they are reading this is not for the faint hearted. One of us not mentioning any names was so drunk that they wet the bed and Joe decided that he’d be clever and flip the mattress. Upon doing the he discovered that the other side of the mattress was covered, and I mean covered, in what we are pretty sure is some kind of shit. Like I mean human shit by the time we woke up in the morning we were both plastered in it. We showered and pegged it explaining briefly to Conner and Charlotte what had happened which they both found very amusing.


Day 3 – Buying some water heading to the boat and the woman from the guest house turned up demanding that Joe pays extra for the state of the room. What a bloody nightmare. On the boat and its alright now off we go. At one point Joe has gone for a sleep in the engine room when there a massive bloody bang. I hear shouting and automatically assume its someone shouting at Joe. He casually walks to were we’re sitting and says,”boats broken” 20 minutes and a lot of panic later and the captain seems to have fixed the boat and we’re back on the way! PHEW starting to think we were going to have to spend a night in the jungle after all. It was a little concerning when the elderly chap next to me put his life jacket on and said ‘you can’t be too careful on a boat” the rest of the journey went smoothly and we arrived at Luang Prabang all in one piece and checked into a nice double room.

Paris X



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